The whispers well up
Clamoring for lungs and air
Sing my song, o soul
Sing my song, o my children
Sing my song, o my people
This flesh cannot contain all I feel
The rocks and the water and the air and the sun
I drown in the 9 senses I am aware of
“What’s something you’ve created — that you’re most proud of?”
The soft voice makes its harmless inquiry
And I’m unmade
An infinity descends upon me
I created an event that thousands of parents and children have never forgotten
I raised money that changed the lives of countless lost children
I created smiles where there were none
I helped save lives and jobs
I shared my notes and changed the course of health research
I gave oxygen to shredded voices, hope to the desert, and warmth to the empty
I gave birth to ten thousand questions, little fingers seeking their first heart to hold
What have I created?
I created the most extraordinary story, together with the one I love, and now I’m bloody and lost in confounding loss
I created time we didn’t have and a system out of shambles that didn’t exist
I have taken blood, and pain, and horror, and transmuted them into blessings
I have crafted a deeply personal relationship with my God, and this Creative Path He set upon me
What have I created?
I created a healthy, happy home to raise exceptional children to adulthood
I made a home safe to create, explore, and make in
I bridged dimensions and created portals to other worlds
I composed music that soothed fragile hearts
I created a new bar for friendship and what it means, even to my own detriment
And what about what I’ve destroyed?
I’ve disassembled expectations, challenged arbitrary confidence, and dissolved barriers
I razed hateful cycles to the ground in my righteous fury
And I have painfully loved my enemies
And in the wake of all that, I have changed this ash pit encircling my rebirth
What does all that mean?
Who the hell knows
But the darkness whispered
And I am unmade
And I wonder–
Can the smoldering moon hold the pieces?
And so my soul cried
Into the Gate
For some
One
To whisper
My true name
In the stars

—
June 3rd, 2025
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